yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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