You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
