As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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