i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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