I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
