I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We named our party play list daddy issues
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
