If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
