are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
