this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
