Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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