You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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