she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
