If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize