Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
