Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
