first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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