the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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