I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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