She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
