you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
