is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
