I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
