I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
