I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
