Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
