peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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