I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize