I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
