yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
