He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
