haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize