i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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