I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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