Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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