Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize