Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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