My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
