i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
