You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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