dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
