just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize