Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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