Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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