just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
