bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
