it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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