Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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