I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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