Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
