Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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