Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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