I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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