Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
