Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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