I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
