Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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