y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
