Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
