i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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