Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
