I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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