I puked a lego.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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