She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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