Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
