No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
