I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
