I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
