She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I would ride that face into the sunset
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
