U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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