Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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