The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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