Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just pee around me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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